Phases
by Vampyr08
Summary: *** The Indies First Time Writer Challenge” One-Shot Contest *** - How did Alice feel when it was decided that the Cullens were leaving Bella behind in New Moon? A quick look at Alice's take of Bella being removed from her life.


**"The Indies First Time Writer Challenge" One-Shot Contest**

**Title: Phases**

**Pen name: Vampyr08**

**Primary Players: Jasper, Alice**

**Rating: MA**

**Word Count 3,627**

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**Phases.**

I knew that this wouldn't last – it couldn't last. The pain of this enforced separation was already killing me. Leaving her alone was bad enough, leaving her knowing that he was leaving her too was unbearable, but to not be allowed to say goodbye, that was excruciating. It was cruelty in its purest form. I knew that Bella would forgive me. That was not the question. It was in her nature to forgive and forget. It was how deep the pain would go when she realized that I'd walked away with no goodbye. My failure to say good bye was just one more betrayal that was going the ruin whatever remnants of her heart that Edward failed to shatter himself.

"Stupid egotistical self-absorbed male" I muttered with venom.

At once a wave of calmness wrapped its way around me, seeping into my very being, calming me down and filling me with a sense of wholeness. I was both relieved and annoyed at my beloved Jasper. Surely he could feel my need to vent – to rid myself of the anger and emotional agony that I was experiencing and being a part of – no matter how unwillingly, it was torture.

I easily recalled those long days in Phoenix when Jasper and I moved heaven and earth to protect Bella from the twisted plans of James. Who would have thought that this fragile human would be the one, who after years of living in the darkness, would be able to give me the key with which I may be able to unlock at least part of my past. The initial friendship that we had formed had only grown stronger as I had helped to care for Bella with her broken leg. It was one of her two legacies from James. It was during this time that I really got to understand Bella. She was not able to see herself clearly. Bella didn't realize how someone could love her because of the faults and inadequacies that she perceived in herself. Eventually she will be able to see through that veil and we would all be right by her side when she came into her own. Of course there was another facet to my love for Bella, the delirious joy that she brought to my stupid brother Edward. I turned to look at my husband, my soul.

"How can he be so blind Jazz? How could he do this to her? To himself? To ME?" I felt my eyes burn as if they were trying to tear up, but of course that wasn't going to happen. "He's taking her from me, banishing her, and then denying me the security of at least knowing she is safe."

Jasper reached out to wrap his long scarred arms around my trembling body.

"Shhh, you know why he's doing this" Jaspers voice was tense with his own concerns and his guilt "I am so sorry for causing this. For not being all you need me to be, for setting in motion this chain of events." The utter despair in his voice made me tremble in my own guilt. I hurried to reassure him. My strong warrior, the very universe of my existence, my life began when I saw him and I couldn't imagine a world where he was not my very centre.

"It's not your fault Jasper. I should have seen it. Who would have guessed that a simple piece of silver paper could have torn us all apart?" I relaxed in to the strength of his embrace. Taking reassurance from the comfort that he always was willing to provide me, the security that he unstintingly offered, I felt him draw a deep breath, although it was a reflex action, not a necessity.

"None of the rest of you moved to attack her though. The fault is entirely mine. His decision was based on my reaction." Jaspers voice was breaking. The events that had occurred were on a surface level initiated by Jasper, yet at the foundation…

"It was always going to happen Jasper. The idea that he was going to have to leave her was already in his mind." I nuzzled more deeply into his chest, taking solace from the sent that was uniquely him. "Her birthday…" (I refused to say Jasper's attack) "…just provided the catalyst for it to happen." I twisted in his arms to wrap myself around him – praying that he could feel the certainty of my emotions.

"I just wanted to watch her, Jazz. Bella is frail, even for a human. She is hindered more so by her awkward nature and tendency to be drawn towards things that pose a danger to her. What really terrifies me the most though, is that I can see her as it happens – after he leaves her. I can see Bella's desperation as she goes after him. Looking through that forest, trying and of course failing to track him.

I can see Edward bolting into the house to leave the note for Charlie, forged in her hand, telling him where to locate her. Yet he is gone before he can be of any help to her and as reality sets into her mind. Edward has left her. Bella has no idea where in the forest she is and I can see her sinking to the ground in defeat as the light fades. Night falls and she doesn't move. She will become a carved statue in stillness that would put a vampire to shame. She will be lying there all alone and cold. And she hates the cold Jasper." I shudder from the cold that will surround her even though it should have no impact on my cold skin. "She hates the wet and the cold most of all. Her future goes blank and then I can't see her. I can't see her at all. It is like her future just disappears."

Jasper infused the emotional air around us with warmth and positive thoughts. He turned me in his embrace so we were chest to chest, molding my much smaller body into the length of his. He could sense my despair and it was doubled for him as he also felt that he had caused the situation.

"I'll go back Alice. If I hold my breath, I can do a run past. Just to see that she's been found. To make sure that Charlie has her." He offered. "You can't see her doing anything stupid can you?" he asked.

"I can't see her at **all** Jasper. That's the problem." I could feel myself becoming slightly hysterical.

"We can have your answers in less than 18 minutes. I won't stop – I'll just run past. She won't see me." His voice was strong. He'd made a decision. He would do what I couldn't. He was my warrior, willing to put his strength on the line to do whatever was needed to put me at ease.

I held him tighter, hearing the fibers within the fabric between my shirt and his jumper start to fuse in reaction to the pressure of our embrace.

"I wish it could be that way. I wish we hadn't promised Edward that we would stay away." I sighed. Jaspers voice came across as tight. "It was a ridiculous promise for us to agree too. A promise he had no right to extract from us. And while I love Edward and would defend him along with the rest of the family to the death – you own me, heart, body and soul."

He bent his head to make eye contact with me. The depth of his love hit me in a tidal wave of emotion as I drowned in the topaz glow of his golden eyes. The depth of this fighter's love for me wrapped around every single fiber of my being and then was absorbed into my very essence. "For you I will go back, disregarding my promise to Edward and establish that Bella is alive and found."

He would too. There was nothing that my brave warrior wouldn't do for me. I smiled my assent. For the first time since we had departed Forks a measure of calm pervaded my senses. It was then that it happened. I felt myself being sucked forward into the future, through that corridor that existed from the present to the variety of possible futures, each one determined by the choices that were made. The walls were a color kaleidoscope as I saw the future that our decision would influence.

It was impossible to not scream. To see my warrior, my fighter, my husband, my Jasper, my reason for existence - disappear. In my vision I looked around, desperately. He was gone. He was nowhere to be found. No trace. There wasn't another side for him to come out from. If he went back to check on Bella, he would disappear as well.

All of a sudden I was back in the present and still encased in Jaspers arms.

"You can't go back Jasper. Neither of us can. I can't see you either. I will mourn for my loss of Bella, but it is you that cannot live without."

Why did it feel like my heart was breaking? This could all have been stopped if Edward was willing to be reasonable. Since when does perfect love cause harm? The answer was obvious. It happened when one partner in it doesn't trust himself.

Yet the image of Bella with her creamy ivory skin and red eyes, linking arms with me still dances in the back of my head. As much as Edward wanted me to deny it – I could still see that future. I could also see Bella pale and still, her chest not moving and covered in blood. Both were just flashes with no detail to support the context from where they originated from. Yet the future path for both of these visions still existed.

Edward had also made me promise to not look into the future for Bella. That was an additional punishment for me. I had the ability to at least keep her close to me, although she would never know – yet I was being denied that. In fact – I had to work to keep her potential future out of my mind. Bella was my sister. I had spent so much time with her, loved her, felt fear for her, and interacted in her world that seeing her future was nearly as clear as seeing anyone of my family's. I would have to be consciously suppressing these visions – a trial that I was not looking forward too.

"We should hunt Jasper – then we can continue on to Tanya's" I murmured.

Hunting was a distraction that would at least get me moving.

I felt Jasper chuckle "Tell me again how Tanya's going to react when we all descend on her."

I smiled – 'She'll be overjoyed of course. She has missed Carlisle and especially Esme. While she will deny it to her last day – she adores the mothering that Esme brings with her. It soothes the aching wound that was left when the Volturi executed her creator."

It was with my cousin's joy in the front of my mind we exited the tiny Canadian hotel that was our residence for the day and took off in to the wilds of British Columbia. The only reason that we were still here and not already in Denali was my need to ensure Bella's safety. With Jasper now also in possible danger, I knew we had to continue on. We swiftly entered the dense woodland and within moments could smell a herd of deer. Listening to their movement, it was evident that they had quite a number in the herd; therefore our taking a few would not cause an environmental issue. Jasper gestured with his left hand for me to take the lead. I muttered the word "Pervert" as I passed. Knowing the only reason that I got to go first, was so that he could get a better look at my ass. I deliberately gave it a wiggle and heard him chortle with masculine approval. The smell of the deer was now stronger and I felt my body lower into its natural predatory hunting crouch.

Without warning I was again drawn into the tunnel that connected me to the future. And there she was … fully clothed, in her own room, on her bed. Charlie was hovering over her, a crumpled piece of paper in his hand. Bella was so still she looked dead, except for the shallow rise and fall of her chest. Her vision was vacant. Her eyes were open, but were looking internally and not at what was in front of her. Her face was, for lack of a better word, empty. There was no emotion, no color, no expression. It was like a master sculptor had created a blank mould and hadn't yet decorated it with the human artifices. She looked like a piece of un-worked pale white clay. Her jeans were stained and damp, there were pine needles in her limp brown hair. Her hands were filthy, covered in multiple scratches and her nails were encrusted with dirt.

I exited the corridor and straightened out of my crouch. Jasper was already beside me. His arms protectively around me, his eyes warily watching the surrounding area for any possible danger, until I was able to return to myself. I felt a small relieved smile touch my mouth and feeling this emotion Jasper looked at me.

"What did you see?" he questioned.

"She's alive, Jasper. She looks awful, but she's alive. She's in her own bed, with Charlie sitting by her bedside. At first I thought she was dead, but she was breathing and her eyes were open."

Jasper gave a relieved smile. I knew he was fond of Bella. Whether he acknowledged it or not, they had bonded in Arizona. He was still a little bit awed and most certainly impressed that she had managed to give the pair of us the slip at the airport, to leave the safety that we represented and the connection that we were to Edward in order to go alone to meet with certain death in that ballet studio with James.

Jasper then tensed. "That's it then Alice. She is with her father. He'll protect her; look out for her to the best of his ability. Now it's time for you to make the final call. You need to decide which way we are going to go and whatever you choose it will have to be final. If we continue north, we will have to stay out of Bella's life. If we go north we are honoring our promise to Edward – fully. No visions, no contact. It will be as if Bella never existed and we will move on with our lives. Or we can go back. If you have seen Bella at home that will mean that Edward is long gone. We can go back; he will not know that we are there. I, obviously, will remain at a distance so as not to endanger Bella further, but you can go to her, comfort her, say good bye, whatever you want to do. Either way though, we have to make the decision. The decision that is right for you and what you need."

I desperately wanted to go back. To hold Bella in my arms. To let her know that we loved her as much as she loved us. I wanted to give Bella the reassurance that Edward had left only because he wanted to protect her from us and all of our kind. To remind her that he loved her more than anything, more than his own life and sanity. That I loved her and I would stand by her side and support her. Yet, would my presence cause her more pain? I knew without a doubt, that while she would want me there, that it would also serve as a constant reminder of who wasn't there.

And what if she moved on? What if she did as Edward wanted her to do and started a new life? Okay, I knew it was unlikely, that it was not in her nature to simply bounce back and look for the next good thing. Would I be able to remain if she found a new love? Would I be in the way of her finding happiness? The answer was obvious. Of course I would. I honestly didn't believe that Edward could stay away from Bella. His love for her was too irreversible, yet he was stubborn. If I were to go to her now it would only serve to prolong her pain. So the only option that was available to me to help my best friend, to be there for my sister – was to keep going north.

Concentrating hard, I pushed myself back into the corridor that led to the future. I couldn't see a possible future if Jasper and I went back. With us near, Bella's future disappeared again. With Jasper's future at risk, it was an option that I was physically unable to take. As bad as it would look, I was going to have to choose my husband over my best friend.

Feeling as if a section of my still heart had been hacked off and tossed onto the dirt, I looked up into the amber gaze of my husband. "We go north." I said decisively.

Jasper looked stunned at my decision – but could feel my resolve. "Can you let her go? Can you honor your promise to your brother? Will you be happy?" he queried.

I smiled at his concern "You've been with them Jasper. You have felt the strength of Edward's and Bella's love. I can't see what will happen. He is currently too sure of his course and she isn't thinking at all. I can only see the future that he is determined to force on them. However, I honestly don't believe that he can possibly stay away from her. He will try. Edward will give it his very best shot and then some, he's just too damn stubborn not to. What neither of them has yet realized is you can't fight that level of love. He will come back – to her, for her."

"You can see this?" Jasper questioned

"No. No I can't. But I know it. I don't know how, I just know. It also means, that when he comes back – we can come back too." I didn't know where my conviction came from, perhaps from still being able to see Bella as one of us. Although the secondary vision of her covered in blood and eternally still was also still strong. "So we go north, follow through on this dumb promise to my stupid brother and entertain ourselves until I get to have Bella back."

"If that's how you really feel Alice, then that's what we'll do. Though, we will have to leave now. We'll be there long before we really need to hunt. The others should have already arrived, and we will start over again." Trying to lighten my mood he joked "So Sophomore at high school again or will you take a different path this time?"

I contemplated that idea as we rapidly and silently headed back to the motel, threw the single case we shared into the car, dropped the key into the early departures key drop and headed North on highway 97. Jasper, feeling my renewed anxiety to leave Bella unattended, reached across with his right hand to hold onto my trembling left.

It would all work out fine I kept telling myself. I wasn't really leaving Bella behind. I was simply allowing her to have a recovery period from our kind until I could claim her as my sister. I leant across to rest my head on my true loves broad shoulder as I finally spoke my answer to his question.

"I'm going to skip school this time. I'm going to use this time away to apply the key that Bella accessed for me through James to explore my past. Bella has given me a starting point, and with it perhaps I will find out who I was before I came to this life."

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A/N: Wow! Wow! Wow! I simply can not believe that this won the most popular voted story in the last session of the The Indies First Time Writer Challenge. I am speechless! Thank you to everyone who voted! I have been encouraged by my dear Beta's FairyVamp, Crystl and Nym along with some of the lovely reviews that have been given to continue with this story.

As the readers of this - I would like to ask your opinion. Would you like me to continue? If so, please review and give me your thoughts! I value the feedback as I try to grow and mature in my writing.


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